Tea Leaves & Firewhisky
by kstewdeux
Summary: Harry and Ron find out they were actually pretty good at divination. ONESHOT.


DISCLOSURE STATEMENT: I in no way, shape or form own Harry Potter.

* * *

 **Tea Leaves & Firewhisky**

* * *

" _So_ …" Harry sighed as he looked into the porcelain teacup, "This one looks like a…"

Glancing down at his Divination book, Harry bit his lip and tried to stave off giggles, "A fox, I guess, which means….an unexpected enemy."

"What's so unexpected about You Know Who?" Ron snorted as he looked into his own teacup, "I've got a fan, I think. Admiration, frivolity, pleasure with the opposite sex."

Ron looked up at his friend with the largest grin Harry had ever seen, "So these tea leaves think I'm going to get some, eh Harry?"

"Right, and I'm going to…" Harry choked back a laugh as he gazed back down at his cup in amusement, "Well, it looks like a hawk. Maybe that's good. Let's see. Nope, more death and gloom."

Ron arched his brow as he leaned over and stared intently at Harry's cup, "Looks more like a bunch tea leaves to me, what does the hawk supposed to mean, Harry?"

"People and things working against you," Harry whispered ominously with a playful glint in his eye before adding with a snort, "You know, the usual."

"So, lets see what our journal says so far," Monday you were going to be in danger of burning alive, losing a treasured possession, and getting stabbed in the back. Wednesday you were going to have troublesome little tasks that you were reluctant to do, a mournful ending to something you were supposed to enjoy, and good health. And today you have an unexpected enemy, and people or things working against you."

"Sounds 'bout right," Harry snickered, "You forgot to write down that you saw me working at the ministry and gaining a bunch of gold."

"Oh yeah, right. Can't risk failing Divination whatever will we do?" Ron placed his hand against his chest in faux horror before glancing over the notes about himself. "And I've got…well, I've got it pretty good actually. I'm going to probably get a girlfriend at some point and I'll come to a wise conclusion after a difficult matter."

"Lucky you," Harry rolled his eyes as he set his jaw to give his friend a side eyed glare before snatching the cup out of his friend's hand.

"Ooooohhh, look at this though, Ron," Harry whispered in a tone of mock horror, "It's a _wavy_ _line of dots_."

"A wavy line of dots?" Ron snorted, "Are you _joking_?"

"It means…" Harry whispered dramatically as he rifled through the pages of his book for a second, hoping to discover something quite bad as he ran his finger down the worn page, "A tiresome journey of a long duration."

"That doesn't sound _too_ bad," Ron smirked at his friend as he dumped the remnants of the leaves back into the tea pot, "Well, look at it this way Harry. It's not like any of these things are _actually_ going to happen. It's all a load of dragon dung."

Harry hummed in agreement as they shut their books and trudged off to their next class.

* * *

As Albus Severus loaded the Hogwarts train for the first time, Harry turned to his friend and shoved his hands into his pocket, " _So_ , who wants a drink?"

"I'd fancy one," Ron laughed, "Kids are all gone so why not have a bit of fun. I actually found something I'd wager would make a fun drinking game."

"Alright, bring it on then," Harry said excited as he rubbed his hands together before frowning when Ron pulled an old, weathered notebook out of his satchel, "What is it?"

"Our old divination notes," Ron laughed as tucked the worn book beneath his arm, "Figure we take a drink for each one that came true."

* * *

"Unexpected enemy," Ron slurred as he looked up at Harry, "Drink."

"Oh _come on_ , Voldemort _wasn't_ unexpected. That's…" Harry trailed off at the knowing look his friend was giving him.

"Mad Eye Moody's imposter," Ron stated simply as Harry glowered at him. Ron smirked before glancing down at the notes, "Take two actually because he stabbed you in the back at the Triwizard Tournament. _Oh_! Take _three_ because you were actually in danger of being burned then too by a dragon. _Hold on a minute!_ Take _four_ because mournful ending to something you were supposed to enjoy. Triwizard Tournament again! Drink up my friend. Oh, wait, wait! _Well_ look at this, Harry! Take _five_ because..."

Several hours and ten of shots of firewhisky a piece later, Harry and Ron came to the horrific conclusion that they had actually been pretty good at divination.


End file.
